What a Modern Woman Wants and Seeks in a 21st Century Relationship – Part 2 of 3

Portrait of Anais Nin taken in NYC in 70s by E...

Anaïs Nin: one of my favorite Modern Women living in urbia ~ about 40 years ahead of her time (Image via Wikipedia)

A revealing, honest, in-depth exposé
by Sarah Nean Bruce

PART 2 of 3


Modern Women consider 21st Century Communiqués an art of Hi Touch and Hi Tech.

If 21st Century Gentlemen are romantically interested, they plan another date. They don’t lead women on. Modern Women value the connection with interesting men. They appreciate when men are respectful of their time and want to stop dating if it’s not a good fit. They are resilient and can often be friends to meet for coffee in the future. They trust that 21st Century Gentlemen can do the same.

Modern Women don’t mind if men text or email after the date if interested romantically. They reciprocate if the feeling is mutual. Otherwise, they don’t want men to text or email if the men aren’t interested, or to break it off.

They want men to try to kiss them only if they are romantically interested, since a kiss sends a message. Likewise, if Modern Women kiss back it means something. If they turn their cheek, so there is no kiss, it means they are not interested and just being polite.

Modern Women don’t play games, and aren’t looking for guys who do. They are upfront and assertive like men and can talk frankly and honestly. They pay attention to what men say and what they do. Actions speak louder than words, but they want men to follow through on what they say and they want men to say what they mean.  Modern women appreciate clear and honest communication.

Throw your dreams into space like a kite,

and you do not know what it will bring back;

a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.

~{Anaïs Nin}~


Modern Women connect the dots, and do the math, to discover the modern day challenges and outcome of the contemporary dating experience.

They believe that really connecting with someone is uncommon in the modern era and it should be valued, respected and honored. If Modern Women like the spirit and inner being of a 21st Century Gentleman, they try to work out the small things that might get in the way. They know that bona fide connections are rare.

Modern Women realize if they are attracted to someone and decide to put time and energy into being with them, that they should be willing to speak openly and honestly about complicated circumstances. There might be small modifications to fine-tune the situation, instead of ejecting and rejecting the relationship entirely.

They see that we live in a temporary and throwaway society where things are often acquired easily and then simply discarded. They recognize that attention spans are nil nowadays. They understand that connections come quickly via mobile phone, Internet, text messages, social media and email, but really linking up, bonding and uniting with real people takes time to develop, nurture and grow. They realize that good things generally take effort and patience, which modern society seems to not appreciate or recognize.

Modern Women know they can’t read men’s minds and men can’t read the minds of women. If there is a problem, or an issue, Modern Women want to verbalize how they feel, or what they think, to make sure they don’t misconstrue the circumstances before they consider walking away. Modern Women know that sometimes 21st Century Gentlemen can and want to modify things if they understand what works or doesn’t work.

Modern Women realize that if they walk away from a situation without talking or trying to understand the other person, they might always wonder if they could have worked it out and grown together or perhaps became lifelong platonic friends.

They know women and men handle situations differently. Modern Women are aware that when they are with someone else they might form a new dynamic with their different methods and unique perspectives if they can communicate with each other. And they see that this strengthens their connection and relationship.

We do not grow absolutely, chronologically.

We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another, unevenly.

We grow partially. We are relative.

We are mature in one realm, childish in another.

~{Anaïs Nin}~

**DISCLAIMER: the preceding commentary is a composite of relationship experiences, expectations and hopes from many modern women. They trust that any men they’ve dated/relinquished, friended/unfriended, liked/disliked, loved/loathed and married/divorced won’t take it personally.**

Prior~ Part 1 of 3:

This ~ Part 2 of 3:

Next ~ Part 3 of 3:

® bel âge medias


Sarah Nean Bruce is a 40-something, thrice-married, childfree, single, modern woman living and writing in Los Angeles. On her journey and journaling of Becoming Beauty since the new millennium began, her friends often remarked that she had gained a rare and realistic perspective on what modern women truly want and don’t want in a relationship. From many years of reading, writing, speaking and sharing personal experiences, she was encouraged by these friends to reveal in her books, screenplays and articles the thoughts, secrets and opinions of the Modern Woman. She believes she has put together a straightforward, objective and noteworthy breakdown of what many modern women seek in a 21st Century relationship.
This brief exposé is presented in three parts.
This is Part 2 of the series.


ANNOUNCEMENT: We are pleased to share news about our friend Sean Kanan’s new endeavor http://seankananthemoderngentleman.com. Sean brings together helpful and invaluable ideas, resources, guidance and tools for Modern Men (& Women) all in one place.  We think the well-rounded approach of providing advice on cooking, entertaining, fashion and relationships to become the Modern Gentleman is a great concept and adventure. We enjoy the friendly writing, the assorted viewpoints and the distinctive insights the website presents. Please join us & share this link~sb 


4 responses to “What a Modern Woman Wants and Seeks in a 21st Century Relationship – Part 2 of 3

  1. Pingback: What a Modern Woman Wants and Seeks in a 21st Century Relationship – Part 1 of 3 « sarah nean bruce·

  2. Pingback: What a Modern Woman Wants and Seeks in a 21st Century Relationship – Part 3 of 3 « sarah nean bruce·

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s